Having been sick for the past three days, now going on four, I thought I'd offer up my perspective on illness in general:
Five Things I Really Dislike About Head & Chest Colds
1. The body-racking coughing fits that make your chest hurt like having bruised ribs
2. The constant tickle, deep in your chest, like a piece of Kleenex™® caught there which just won't leave
3. Waking up to roll over, which causes the coughing to start up again, only to keep you awake for the next three hours
4. Finding all the congestion in your lungs moving north into your sinuses, causing your eyes to feel like just popping out in order to stop the pressure
5. Seeing my beloved Ann go through five boxes of Kleenex™® in three days, half a jar of Vaseline™® to keep her nose from flaming off her face from having to blow & wipe it every 30 seconds, and left at a quandary how one person can produce that much snot (Okay, she didn't use that word; that's a guy word, but you know what I mean)
Well, that was certainly negative. Maybe I should end on a more positive note…yeah, that's the ticket––
Five Things I Don't Mine About Head & Chest Colds
1. The alcoholic-burning taste of Robitussin™®? Nyah
2. The highly toxic smell of Vix Vapo-Rub™® on my chest? Definitely not
3. The complete loss of taste and desire for coffee? Please, give me back my Caribou taste buds!
4. Having to think about not being at church on Sunday & finding replacements for, like, everything? Where's Benny Hinn's phone number?
5. Hearing the tender loving words of family members, "You look like death warmed over"? Unh-uh, I don't think so.
Nyah, I got nothing. Hopefully, by Monday, I'll be all chipper again!